Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Defination

source(google.com)


Dad: Shame on you, Peter. Why did you hit your little sister?
Peter: Well, Daddy, we were playing Adam and Eve with the apple and all. Well, instead of tempting me with that apple, she ate the thing herself!

“Mary, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?! exclaimed the angry mother.
“It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”

“Mama, there’s a man at the door,” said little Johnny.
“He says he’s collecting for senior citizens. Do you think we should hide Grandpa?”

Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”

It was the end of the school year and Joey’s mother asked: “And were the exam questions difficult?”
“They weren’t bad at all,” her son replied. “It was the answers that gave me all the trouble.”

A family took a trip to Disney World. After three exhausting days, they headed home. As they drove away, the son waved and said, “Goodbye, Mickey.”

The daughter waved and said, “Goodbye, Minnie.”

The husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Goodbye, Money.”

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.”
He replies “BREASTS.”

A Chinese man rings his boss, “Me no work I sick.”
Boss says, “When I’m sick, I make love with my wife. Try that.”
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back, “Me better, you got nice house.”

The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”

A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.

Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.

A few weeks later Elly was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.

“Wonderful!” she replied, “However, there’s one thing I don’t understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?”

Grandma and her little grandson were in the park picking up ripe walnuts on a beautiful fall day. “These are the kind of nuts your Daddy loves best,” she said.

The little boy replied, “Maybe he likes these things best but the nuts I like are doughnuts!”

“Did God make you, Papa?”
“Yep! He certainly did.”
“And did He make me too?”
“Of course, He did.”
“Well, He’s certainly doing better as He goes along, isn’t He?”

Little Emma returned from the birthday party and her mother asked: “Did you say ‘thank you’?”
“Well, no,” replied the little girl. “Y’see, the girl ahead of me thanked her and she said, ‘Don’t mention it!’ so I didn’t.”

Mom was preparing the two children for bed and was telling bedtime stories. She remarked that God made eyes to see, ears to hear, noses to smell and feet to run.
The little girl sat up and said, “But, Momma, I guess God got kinda mixed up with Tom, here, because Tom’s nose runs and his feet smell!”

With a frown wrinkling his forehead, little Johnny was working hard at his father’s desk scratching a pen along a page of his paper. His mother asked, “Are you writing a letter to your little girlfriend, Son?”
“Nope,” he grunted, “It’s a letter to myself.”
“Well,” she smiled, “What are you going to write about?”
“How should I know?” he squeaked, “I haven’t received it yet.”

A man called his friend’s house and a small voice greeted him.
“Is your Daddy there?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Could I speak with him?”
“He’s busy,” the little voice replied.
“Well, can I speak to your mother?”
“Nope, she is busy, too.”
“Well then, let me talk with your brother.”
“He’s busy, too.”
“For goodness sakes, what are they so busy doing?”
“They are looking for me!”

What can you put in your right hand but not your left?
Your left elbow.

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t honk.

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Short Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013
          

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Defination

source (gogle.com)

I have friends who are great joke-tellers. They time their lines perfectly. But, "joke delivery" was never my cup of tea. I excel in sharing cute funny quotes. And somehow, it seems to get my listeners' funny bone. You can also work on being a funny person by using some cute funny quotes. Start with this page of funny quotes.
Barry Goldwater
I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.
Roger Kahn
I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.
Robert Paul
My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.
Miguel de Unamuno
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Alexander Woollcott
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Ron Nesen
Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
Jay Leno
Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Tom Snyder
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?
Benjamin Franklin
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Anonymous
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Confidence: wear it like make-up!
Stop planning your life, and let it plan itself. Quit trying to find the perfect boy & let him find you. If you dont want drama then dont talk ****. Things are only as complicated as you make them..
she was the kind of girl that never let the guys get the best of her, that didn’t fall in love easily, until that one guy came along
It’s not cause I don’t like you, it’s just that I’m scared of loving and losing
she’s not perfect, & neither is he
but together, they just might be
& most of all;
i’m scared of not being
good enough

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Real Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

         

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Defination

source(google.com)

 Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business! Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish." Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"! Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits! Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together! Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it! Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed. Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station! Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: A taxi driver. Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?" A: "With a bee bee gun." Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream. Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it! Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light! Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A: A stamp. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: Because it had a virus! Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers! Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner? A: Man, that hit the "spot." Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer! Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? A: Because it was not peeling well Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years! Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A: He wanted cold hard cash! Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? A: Sunday, of course! Q: What bow can't be tied? A: A rainbow! Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: Spring time. Q: Where did the computer go to dance? A: To a disc-o. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew". Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: To get a tweetment. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A: A Clausterphobic Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head! Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? A: Because he had no-body to go with. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones. Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? A: In snow banks. Q: What washes up on very small beaches? A: Microwaves! Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? A: The road! Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A: The scientists were brainstorming! Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? A: Because he couldn't find a date! Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A: Hi Cliff! Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? A: Show me the honey! Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck! Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I'm coming down with something! Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a foot! Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck! Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A: Post Office! Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don't worry, I've got you covered! Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed? A: To draw the curtains! Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack? A: One! After that its not empty! Q: What kind of button won't unbutton? A: A bellybutton! Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog. Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: It saw the salad dressing! Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: It let out a little wine! Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A: Dam! Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other? A: They don't have the guts. Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Nacho Cheese Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? A: Dead ends! Q: What did the penny say to the other penny? A: We make perfect cents. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams. Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills! Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An umbrella. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: Because it held up a pair of pants! Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places! Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: Flood lights! Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? A: Because they're all in High School! Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? A: "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"! Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? A: The month of March! Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster you! Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? A: In case they get a hole in one! Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? A: Because he wanted to work over-time! Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? A: Because he wanted to see time fly! Q: When do you stop at green and go at red? A: When you're eating a watermelon! Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? A: With cabbage patches! Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? A: He couldn't concentrate! Q: How do you repair a broken tomato? A: Tomato Paste! Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his parents were in a jam! Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty! Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A: A deviled egg! Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey! Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A: He felt crummy! Q: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? A: She couldn't control her pupils! Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A: A private tutor. Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? A: Bare-foot. Q: What can you serve but never eat? A: A volleyball. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? A: Sneakers. Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? A: So he could tie the score. Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? A: They both depend on the batter. Q: What did the alien say to the garden? A: Take me to your weeder. Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe. Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I better not tell you, it might spread. Q: How do baseball players stay cool? A: They sit next to their fans. Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems. Q: What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A: A refrigerator. Q: What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? A: The Space bar! Q: What exam do young witches have to pass? A: A spell-ing test! Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A: A cloud! Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake! Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport? A: Because you dribble on the floor! Q: How do you communicate with a fish? A: Drop him a line! Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts? A: To the Baa Baa shop! Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? A: Jellyfish! Q: What do cats eat for breakfast? A: Mice Crispies! Q: Why can't a leopard hide? A: Because he's always spotted! Q: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A: A sour puss! Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: Its easier than walking! Q: What kind of key opens a banana? A: A monkey! Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? Q: Why does a hummingbird hum? A: It doesn't know the words! Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? A: Because they dropped out of school! Q: What goes up and down but doesn't move? A: The temperature! Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? A: Neither, they both weigh a ton! Q: What has one horn and gives milk A: A milk truck. Q: Where do bulls get their messages? A: On a bull-etin board. Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping? A: They CHARGE! Q: What runs but can't walk? A: The faucet! Q: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A: A water bed! Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? A: Firecrackers! Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: Because he took a short cut. Q: What's taken before you get it? A: Your picture. Q: What concert costs 45 cents? A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback. Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist? A: To get a root canal. Q: Why did the child study in the airplane? A: He wanted a higher education! Q: Why was the broom late? A: It over swept! Q: What did the tie say to the hat? A: You go on ahead and I'll hang around! Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? A: A trum-pet! Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A: Bugs Bunny! Q: Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? A: She had a make-up exam! lol = Drowning Man. *lol* = Drowning Cheerleader. "Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted." I've just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve. I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted. Today I gave my dead batteries away....Free of charge. If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing. Being honest may not get you a lot of FRIENDS but it'll always get you the RIGHT ONES. I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding. I'm so bright my mother calls me son. My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them. What fits your schedule better......Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day? Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist. Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin? If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches? A butcher goes on a first date and says 'It was nice meating you' 2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man that's Ludacris I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life. It's been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you! fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds. I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork. I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing. I moustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes For Kids Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

          

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Defination

source(google.com)

Q: What has a foot but no legs?
A: A snail
Submitted by: Dom

Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
A: Nothing
Submitted by: Rehia

Q: What comes down but never goes up?
A: Rain
Submitted by: George

Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A: A candle
Submitted by: sophia

Q: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?
A: If you answered Nunu, you are wrong. It’s Mary!
Submitted by: Abie

Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
A: It can have a hole in it.

Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!
What color were the stairs?
A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!
Submitted by: Mitchell

A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
A: The doctor is his mom!
Submitted by: Kevin

Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
A: An umbrella!
Submitted by: TumTum

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
Submitted by: jemma

Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A: A fire!

Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.
Submitted by: c1

Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short
Submitted by: adren

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
A: A stamp!
Submitted by: sandra

Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?
A: The letter M

Q: What has 4 eyes but can’t see?
A: Mississippi
Submitted by: hanna

Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.
Submitted by: Jenna

Q: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
A: EMPTY
Submitted by: lalalala

Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock
Submitted by: lil k

Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.
Submitted by: Faith and Hayley

Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?
A: The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.
Submitted by: Briana and Tennessee

Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?
A: The letter W!
Submitted by: Elizabeth

Q: What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
A: His breath!
Submitted by: Ellie

Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?
A: A teapot!

Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
A: Silence.
Submitted by: Nene

Q: You walk into a room with a match, a karosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first?
A: The match.
Submitted by: Shelby

Q: A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her?
A: It was a bright and sunny day!
Submitted by: Grace

Q: What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A: A palm!
Submitted by: Brown

Q: If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?
A: There is no smoke, it’s an electric train!
Submitted by: Cole

Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
A: You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
Submitted by: Barbecu

Q: What has one eye but cannot see?
A: A needle
Submitted by: Melissa

Q: A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A: A Catcher and Umpire.

Q: Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound!
Submitted by: Ciara

Q: How many months have 28 days?
A: All 12 months!
Submitted by: amber

Q: A frog jumped into a pot of cream and started treading. He soon felt something solid under his feet and was able to hop out of the pot. What did the frog feel under his feet?
A: The frog felt butter under his feet, because he churned the cream and made butter.
Submitted by: Jenushika

Q: A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How can the horse get to the apple?
A: The chain is not attached to anything.
Submitted by: Darren

Q: If a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a pink house is made out of pink bricks, what is a green house made of?
A: Glass
Submitted by: mike

Q: What goes up a chimney down but can’t come down a chimney up?
A: an umberella
Submitted by: rachael

Q: We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?
A: The letter “E”
Submitted by: jade

Q: Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?
A: The president!
Submitted by: Seshu

Q: They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?
A: Stars!
Submitted by: Christie

Q: How do you make the number one disappear?
A: Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”
Submitted by: Ethan

Q; What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age!Q:Tuesday, Sam and Peter went to a restaurant to eat lunch. After eating lunch, they paid the bill. But Sam and Peter did not pay the bill, so who did?
A:Their friend, Tuesday.
Submitted by: crystal

Q: What gets broken without being held?
A: A promise.

Q: What is always coming but never arrives?
A: Tomorrow
Submitted by: Simmy

Q: What goes through towns and over hills but never moves?
A: A Road
Submitted by: bride

Q: What has Eighty-eight keys but can’t open a single door?
A: A piano
Submitted by: Marium

Q: A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?
A: None of them, because you can’t get a banana from a coconut tree!
Submitted by: Marissa

Q: Which eight-letter word still remains a word after removing each letter from it?
A: Starting-Staring-String-Sting-Sing-Sin-In-I.
Submitted by: Shivani

Q: What has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps, can run but never walks, and has a bank but no money?
A: A river!
Submitted by: Isaac

The Smith family is a very wealthy family that lives in a big, circular home. One morning, Mr. Smith woke up and saw a strawberry jam stain on his new carpet. He figured out that everyone who was there that morning had a jam sandwich. By reading the following excuses, figure out who spilled the jam.
Billy Smith: “I was outside playing basketball.”
The Maid: “I was dusting the corners of the house.”
Chef: “I was starting to make lunch for later.”
Who is lying?
A: It was the maid. The house is circular, it has no corners.
Submitted by: JayTee

Two fathers and two sons go on a fishing trip. They each catch a fish and bring it home. Why do they only bring 3 home?
A: The fishing trip consists of a grandfather, a father and a son.
Submitted by: The Boss

Q: What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs at night?
A: A person! As a baby you crawl (4 legs), as an adult you walk (2 legs), then when you are older you use a cane (3 legs)
Submitted by: tamika

Q: The more it dries, the wetter it becomes. What is it?
A: A towel!

Q: What can you hear but not touch or see?
A: Your voice.

Q: What starts with “P” and ends with “E” and has more than 1000 letters?
A: A post office!
Submitted by: Bloom

Q: What loses its head in the morning but gets it back at night?
A: A pillow
Submitted by: ashlyne

Q. What is something you will never see again?
A. Yesterday
Submitted by: Alex

Q: Jack rode into town on Friday and rode out 2 days later on Friday. How can that be possible?
A: Friday is his horse’s name!
Submitted by: Candy

Q: Can you name the two days starting with T besides Tuesday and Thursday?
A: Today and tomorrow.
Submitted by: Estelle

Q: What is round on both sides but high in the middle?
A: Ohio.
Submitted by: Zack

Q: If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
A: Nine!
Submitted by: christa

Q: What is the center of Gravity?
A: The letter V.
Submitted by: Yash

Q: What is the last thing you take off before bed?
A: Your feet off the floor.
Submitted by: shakaela and ziaida

Q: A lawyer, a plumber and a hat maker were walking down the street. Who had the biggest hat?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Submitted by: Rajah

Q: What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A: A mushroom.
Submitted by: Faith

Q: I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter but can’t go outside. What am I?
A: A Keyboard
Submitted by: Swetha

Q: What is next in this sequence: JFMAMJJASON_ ?
A: The letter D. The sequence contains the first letter of each month.
Submitted by: hazelle

Q: A man was cleaning the windows of a 25 story building. He slipped and fell off the ladder, but wasn’t hurt. How did he do it?
A: He fell off the 2nd step.
Submitted by: Kayleigh

Q: How many seconds are there in a year?
A: 12. (January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd….)
Submitted by: haresh

Q: One night, a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker go to a hotel. When they get their bill, however, it’s for four people. Who’s the fourth person?
A: One night can also mean one knight. That makes four: one knight, a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker!
Submitted by: Niru

Q: What instrument can you hear but never see?
A: Your voice! You can sing with your voice like an instrument and hear it, but no one can see it!

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Funny Jokes And Riddles Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

         

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Really Funny Jokes Defination

source(google.com)

I have friends who are great joke-tellers. They time their lines perfectly. But, "joke delivery" was never my cup of tea. I excel in sharing cute funny quotes. And somehow, it seems to get my listeners' funny bone. You can also work on being a funny person by using some cute funny quotes. Start with this page of funny quotes.
Barry Goldwater
I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.
Roger Kahn
I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.
Robert Paul
My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.
Miguel de Unamuno
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Alexander Woollcott
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Ron Nesen
Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
Jay Leno
Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Tom Snyder
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?
Benjamin Franklin
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Anonymous
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Confidence: wear it like make-up!
Stop planning your life, and let it plan itself. Quit trying to find the perfect boy & let him find you. If you dont want drama then dont talk ****. Things are only as complicated as you make them..
she was the kind of girl that never let the guys get the best of her, that didn’t fall in love easily, until that one guy came along
It’s not cause I don’t like you, it’s just that I’m scared of loving and losing
she’s not perfect, & neither is he
but together, they just might be
& most of all;
i’m scared of not being
good enough.

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

  Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013 

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013 

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013 

 Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013

 Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013 

Really Funny Jokes Free Pictures Photos Images Pics 2013